Hitman: Agent 47 is the reboot of the 2007 Hitman movie, both of which are based on the highly popular video games of the same name. Agent 47 (Rupert Friend) is dispatched to find Dr Piotr Litvenko (Ciaran Hinds), the mastermind behind the 'agent' program who suddenly grew a conscience and abandoned the project, and left his little girl behind as well, Katia (Hannah Ware). Katia grows up hiding from she doesn't what, and she spends her days looking for she doesn't what exactly. Let's just chalk this one up to 'women's intuition' I suppose. Until it's made apparent to her one day by John Smith (Zachary Quinto), who tells her who her father was and what her father's work really was, ie creating stealthy and efficient killers.
Agent 47 is a super soldier, he's super strong, he has super reflexes, he's super intelligent, he's pretty much a superhero, or an anti-hero, depending on your point of view. And the company that John Smith is working for, the Syndicate, they want the ability to create more agents like 47. I'm not really sure why though. John Smith kicks Agent 47's ass and seems superior in every way. Agent 47 explains to Katia that she's a super soldier just like he is, only more advanced, better. Agent 47 helps Katia control her powers that seem more like they belong in "Limitless" or "Next" than they do in a Hitman movie. Anyway, the two have to work together to rescue Katia's father from the Syndicate and eradicate them once and for all, or something like that. This is what amazes me about this movie. Hitman (2007) was more or less a failure, hence this reboot. Yet they hire the same idiot writer to write the reboot. It's like Einstein's definition of insanity, doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
Not only was the writer the notoriously bad Skip Woods who already fucked up Hitman once, this time he decides to draw from the worst entry into the Hitman franchise, Absolution. Not only that but it's directed by first time director Aleksander Bach and the casting was just all wrong. Rupert Friend did his best but he lacked that gravitas that Agent 47 is supposed to have. Paul Walker would have lacked in the same area as well. Zachary Quinto was unbelievable and Ciaran Hinds was wasted in a movie like this. The cgi was absolutely horrendous and it was used far too often for a movie like this. The fight choreography was atrocious, full of quick cuts, close ups, hyper editing, obvious stunt doubles, it was amateur hour all over. The action was boring, cgi heavy and lacked any real tension, suspense or gravity. The flow of the story was erratic and the editing was jarring throughout. I'd honestly rather play the game again than sit through this movie one more time. Kudos to Audi though because they're killing it in the product placement department lately ie The Transporter, the Iron Man movies and Hitman. Someone over there in the marketing department is doing their job right.
As far as the problems in regards to this being an actual "Hitman" movie, where to begin... Okay, so the first ten minutes or so they throw in a few obligatory nods for the fans, he used a disguise, we saw his garrote, little things like that, but the fundamental understanding of the premise is all wrong. Agent 47 does not have super human abilities. Yes, he's the result of genetic engineering, but he's still only a clone. 47 doesn't have physics defying Jedi-like abilities that are often bordering on premonition. Admittedly this is a nitpick, but Agent 47 is bald, he doesn't choose to shave his head because it looks cool, he's permanently bald from the cloning process. Agent 47 also seemed far more humane than ordinary as they threw in some half-cooked nonsense about what he is, and free will vs determinism, but that was superfluous.
Hitman: Agent 47 desperately needed to be less like Terminator: Genisys, Lucy and The Fast and the Furious, and be more like The Day of the Jackal, No Country for Old Men and Only God Forgives. With the obligatory score of Ava Maria thrown in there. When Agent 47 does choose to step out from behind the shadows in any potential movie to the tune of Ava Maria, he should feel like death itself. Intimidating, chilling and absolutely terrifying. Everything he wasn't in this movie. Plus there should be a very thin, but dark and sardonic sense of humor throughout the movie as well. I mentioned God Only Forgives because the atmosphere in that movie was palpably tense and disturbingly brutal. Hitman has consistently missed the marks where they mattered the most.
You can tell that Hitman: Agent 47 tried to appease the fans with these little 'nods', especially in the beginning, but they didn't amount to anything. As far as action movies go, I prefer Hitman (2007) over this, but I still feel like they haven't even come close to getting Hitman right. Why can't the writers (not Skip fucking Woods) next time just start at the beginning of the franchise? Would that really be so bad? Sure, they could mix things up a little bit, but just make it a reasonably faithful origin movie for Agent 47. He doesn't need to be a hero, or even an anti-hero, 47 is a stone cold killer. And he doesn't need a female sidekick ham-fisted into the narrative either. Just focus on getting 47 right before trying to abide by the four quadrant blueprint that Hollywood has been slavishly adhering to lately. Except for Diana (Angelababy), of which she was given minimal time here, maybe five seconds at best. Another swing and a miss for video game adaptions, maybe Warcraft can establish some credibility in the genre, but I'm betting on Assassin's Creed.
Written by - The Sentry - 17/11/2015